I had a little too much fun with the top Trending Topic on Twitter this evening. A bunch of comedians I'm "following" started to participate in this hashtag (#) frenzy, so I turned it into my own little comedic exercise. The topic was "oneletteroffmovies" - and if you don't understand what this means, you'll figure it out in just a moment.
Maxi Driver: A gritty Scorsese drama about a menstruating cabbie with a thirst for violence.
Revolutionary Load: Winslet and Dicaprio team up for this dramatic tale of a marriage torn apart by a massive turd.
XXL: Vin Diesel is recruited by the government to battle chronic obesity.
Mace-Off: John Woo directed this action-packed flick starring Nic Cage and John Travolta, who duel with pepper spray.
Goy Story: A heartwarming Pixar animated adventure about semitically-challenged children's toys that come to life.
Clear and Present Manger: CIA analyst Jack Ryan must deliver an immaculately conceived baby in a Bethlehem stable.
Sling Glade: Poignant story about a simple man with the uncontrollable urge to attack people with air freshener.
The Tan Commandments: Moses receives two tablets that explain sun-safety precautions for desert-wandering Jews.
The Mighty Fucks
Mantasia: This dialogue-free Disney favorite is about worshipping the male physique and is set to classical music.
The Diary of Anne Crank: Living in an attic, a young girl chronicles her struggle with meth-amphetamine addiction.
Beauty and the Yeast: Belle leaves her wet bathing suit on for too long and pays the ultimate price - $18 on Monistat 7.